Well…I have some work to do!
First, let me introduce myself. I, as described by my Mennonite (and self-described Hobbit counterpart), am the Elf. Yes. It is true. I am the one. The one that our Hobbit friend hopes to hide behind during our horrifying trip down the red carpet 77 days from now.
|Let me fix those high heels for you.|
Now, let me be clear. There is nothing horrifying about the thought of going to the Grammys. I mean, really people; beauty, stars, talent, music, glamour. It is something I have dreamed about most of my life. Last year it was completely exciting. I didn't give the red carpet a second thought. I felt confident. And now, I've been there.
For you to really understand, I must explain.
|No, there is too much. Let me sum up.|
If you are not a star attending the Grammys, then you park wherever you can find a place when you are driving yourself. It involves walking. It also involves walking where the crowds are leading you, right? Wrong! We followed the crowds of beautiful people in gorgeous gowns, tuxedos, and smiles full of anticipation. We followed them for a mile, although, because I was wearing a long gown and 3” lace up heels, it seemed more like five miles.
I had blisters on my feet when we arrived and asked the nice person taking our tickets where we should go to walk down the red carpet. Eye rolling. Laughter. “You DO NOT want to do that!” To which I thought in my head, “I did not tape myself into this dress, have my hair done, have fake eyelashes glued on, to NOT go there.” Instead, I smiled and listened to her describe the walk we would need to make, which by the way, was completely back to where our car was parked, to find the street that would lead us back to the glorious trip down the red carpet. We chose not to. We chalked it up to our “freshman” experience at the Grammys.
|The Year of Our Lorde.|
Now, from that point forward, I will say it was magical. I am an Elf after all…I appreciate the magic in moments like this. The performances were…indescribably fantastic. Imagine going to all your favorite concerts in one night, and having each artist do the one song you were really there to see. The lights, the production, the experience…truly AMAZING.
|"I'd like to apologize to... pretty much everyone."|
This year, we will not be freshman. The Hobbit and the Elf will in fact, be walking down the red carpet. And there will NOT be hiding.
And now the work begins, in an effort to not make the trip quite so horrifying.
Step one – Limousine. There will be no walking this year, other than down the red carpet by this Elf and her Hobbit friend.
Step two – Diet. Yes, this past year did get a bit away from me, and I am not quite my Elf self. So…I will resort to diet and as you might suspect…
Step three – Exercise. The hopeful key to actually squeezing this body into the dress I purchased in anticipation when I was 2 sizes smaller.
Step four – Join my Hobbit, Mennonite friend for some Spanx, shoes, clutches, and make-up shopping.
Step five – Memorize every lyric on my new 1989 CD. And pray there is no head-banging this year.
|"Does this microphone make me look short?"|
And then…enjoy. Because really…going to the Grammys?! Yes, it is a gift. Despite all the preparation, it is something I can’t even believe I got to do once in my lifetime…let alone twice! So, here we go. In 77 days I will be walking…ready or not…down the red carpet. I guess I better set down my hot buttered rum, and get down to business! #elfatthegrammys